yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
