Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
