You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
