when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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