why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
