I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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