found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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