I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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