okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
