we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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