it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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