this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
