I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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