You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize