playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
did you just send me my own nude
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
