I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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