There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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