I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
