I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
