If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
