It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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