If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
