nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
