My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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