is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
