All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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