neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
