woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
where am i from again
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
