Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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