porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I will be naked everywhere
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
