that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
