I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
