dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
