Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My ass is underappreciated
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
