The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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