it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
