elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize