I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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