so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
