its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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