its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
