apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
