I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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