Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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