I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
