I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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