I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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