I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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