Are we in a gay sports bar?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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