I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
