that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
